Flow

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,
They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe.

Across the Universe The Beatles

Wanderer

I just can't seem to stay in one place too long. A sentence, a paragraph and I'm off to other things for a time.

Breakthrough

I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before...

I've always liked this passage from the Bible, kind of a motto for me. Today is all I have and tomorrow all I can hope for.

Light My Fire

It's not her tonight, she's ready to go but I'm still worn from the day... the physical part I'm sort of used to but it was a stressful day. Lucee called off and Ness was 45 minutes late. After 43 mintues without her being there I called Dnt in, then she showed up so I called Dnt back to say I didn't need him. While I was doing that Ness was saying something to another Klenian who interpreted for her. Turned out she hurt her foot and had to go to the doctor, so I had to call Dnt back, "After all, I do need you. Sorry..." Then the ice machines broke down. Yesterday the fly-thru soda fountain broke down and we had to call Klespi in to fix it. Well, it turned out that whatever the Klespi guy did to fix the soda fountain screwed up the ice machine. Of course, I didn't find that out until I called in the ice machine repair guy. He was going to fix it but then my boss told me Klespi had to fix it since they broke it. So I had to go out and buy 200 pounds of ice to get us through until the Klespi guy got there and the worst part of it all was, when I left I had to leave Loretta in charge. It galled me, she wasn't supposed to be there anyway and then I had to end up relying on her... sort of a victory for her. I didn't need to rely on her, I could have put Lamai in charge but Loretta is a manager so I had to turn the store over to her. For the little they pay, I shouldn't let it bother me, say what the hell, but that's not me... I have to bitch a little before I say, "What the hell." That said, my muse can start me up.

Open

I'm trying to be more open, more connected. All day yesterday I tried to write something but couldn't. I was planning to write about a particular character but, try as I might, I couldn't find a thing to say about him, even though there is a lot to be said. Finally, late into the night, I quit trying and started relaxing and, like that, the solution came, I should have been writing about someone else all along. I only got a paragraph written but it opened the way for more.

All Wrong

I had it all wrong, turns out it wasn't Loretta that called in, it was Lucee. For the third time her car broke down out of town, seems to always happen on a Friday night. I could care less, she disrupts my shifts anyway. Alright, I'll admit it, I was foolish enough to become a manager at Fast-n-Eat... that extra credit an hour blinded me to how crappy it was going to be. Anyway, Loretta came in on my shift again, uninvited, without saying a word to me, just clocks in and starts sort-of working. Thing is, she wasn't scheduled today and it seems to me that she just decided to come in anytime she wants to earn a few extra credits. Sounds like I'm begruding her the money but that's not it, I could care less if it didn't come out of my pocket. They measure everything at Fast-n-Eat, from fly-thru times to the number of tomatoes they put on a Dponian Munch. Based on history and forecast they tell us managers how many hours of labor we're allowed for our shifts, if we go over expect to get bitched out, if it keeps happening no raise, then no job. So, everytime Loretta wants a few extra bucks, I end up paying.

Too True

Your ability to stand your ground is tested today.

Loretta called in last night and gave some excuse for not covering her shift today... hmm... a Saturday night... Hell if I'm working a twelve hour shift.

How to Clean the Toilet

An email I got.

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash."

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet , streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.



9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,

The Dog

Yawn

We're both tired... all day to figure out one paragraph, it's a struggle sometimes.

Memory

Half asleep... half awake... somewhere in between...

Listening to music in the dim light of the computer screen reminds me of when I was a kid laying in bed, watching the light from under the door and listening to my mom play her Mancini records. Theme to A Summer Place was my favorite, so mellow, kind of sad, kind of sleepy.

Spirit Wins

Coffee's kicking in, going to try to go for another hour or two... 6am comes awful early.

Bedtime

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. We'll see who wins this battle.

Odd Man Out

Revived

I love it when she wins.

The Winner

Guess who won?

Wiped Out

Exhausted... I can only take so much rude stupidity before it begins to wear on me, today it wore on me. She wants me to write but all I want to do is veg. We'll see who wins...

So Sleepy

Should be in bed... damn job...

Sleepless

Early day at work tomorrow, I should be in bed but sleep eludes me. Too much excitement today, my brain is still buzzing.

Leviathan

Intro | Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

This is background for the next chapter, Leviathan. The Old Man's crew, the heroes, are preparing to go to Leviathan to take one of Silay's items of power, a rune sword needed to fight their main enemy, creatures from a fiery dimension.

Silay Edire was an archaeologist. She hadn't achieved fame from her finds but she didn't care, it was the search for the secrets of the past that was important to her.
She was on an inconsequential dig on Cardamoon. The Cardit, the people of Cardamoon, had all died when a passing comet tore away their atmosphere. When Silay got there its society had only been discovered about ten years before, the Cardit had been extinct for a millennia. They were a polytheistic society with a uniqueness that made them interesting to researchers. There were twenty-seven gods, thirteen goddesses of creation, thirteen gods of destruction and the queen. That sort of hierarchy was fairly common throughout the universe, what made the Cardit unique was the structure of their priesthood. In every other polytheistic society there was a separate priesthood for each god, on Cardit there was only one. In the small towns and villages there would be a shrine run by a priest or priestess, they were the voice for all the gods except the queen. In the larger towns and cities there would be a temple with an inner sanctum for each of the twenty-six lesser gods. Twenty-six priests or priestesses served one of the gods, they reported to one head priestess. Other archaeologists had uncovered references to twenty-six high temples but none had been found yet. The temple to the queen of the gods had not been discovered either, that was where the high priest, or The Queen's Consort, ruled all Cardit society.

Silay had found the site of a temple in one of the lesser cities and was in the process of unearthing it and cataloging the artifacts. In the inner sanctum of Jagi she found a box with a well preserved manuscript inside. It was a chronicle of the life of Jagi, others had been found but in this one she ran across a passage that she believed would finally bring her fame. The passage said, "The Second Light descended on the Three Sisters." Jagi was the Second Light, he was associated with Cardmoon's second sun, a red sun, Jagi was the god of war. The Three Sisters was a city somewhere in the south, its site hadn't been found yet. Silay thought the passage might have been speaking of war and finding a site of Cardit war would be a great find but in the back of her mind she had an even greater theory.

It took her eight years to find the Three Sisters and another two to prove her theory. It was apparent that the passage she found wasn't referring to a war, clearly the Three Sisters had never seen war. The Second Light descending on the Three Sisters, as Silay thought, was referring to the high temple of Jagi. When she unearthed the temple her fame was insured but that lost meaning to her when she discovered something there that would completely change her life.

It was late and Silay had sent the rest of the team to bed but she was too excited to sleep and kept digging. She was certain the room they were unearthing was the inner sanctum and she wasn't disappointed. The room was filled with weapons and a pile of skulls lay before an altar, carvings on the walls showed Cardit sacrifices being made there. The room was empty other than the weapons and the altar. Weapons wasn't one of her specialties so she examined the altar first. It was made of a black stone found in the cliffs not far from the Three Sisters and had manacles to hold down the victim. The head of the altar was ornately carved and from it hung a bracer made of a metal she didn't recognize. When she picked it up an electrical surge ran through her and she dropped it. She scanned it and found no known harmful elements or radiation so she picked it up again. When she brushed the dirt from it she found an inscription, "The Strength of Jagi." She remembered reading that Jagi was supposed to have the strength of ten and killed his enemies by tearing their heads off. As she thought about what the inscription meant she realized just how good she felt. Since finding the temple she'd been living on sher and very little sleep, she'd been worn to the bone until she picked up the bracer. She figured the metal had some sort of restorative power that the Cardit called the Strength of Jagi. When she left the temple for bed she didn't take the bracer off, she never took it off again.

It wasn't her original intent to keep the bracer, she planned to return it when the dig ended. Two nights later she discovered something about it that changed her plans. It was late again, the rest of the team was asleep and she was working in the temple cataloging artifacts. She heard a loud crack behind her and turned to see a huge column falling towards her. She didn't have time to get out of the way and instinctively threw out her hands to stop it. She should have been crushed, instead the column lay resting in her hands. When she let it drop it pulverized the stone floor. Silay stared at the column in shock, wondering what happened. Her first thought was that it wasn't as heavy as it looked and an adrenal surge had given her a temporary strength. She looked at the dust that had once been floor and knew her theory was incorrect. Silay went over to the column and tried to pick it up, with effort she pressed one end over her head. Then she took the bracer off and tried again, she couldn't even move the column. She had a new theory and was certain it was correct, the bracer gave her the Strength of Jagi.

Silay had a new passion, she turned her dig over to her second and began searching for the other high temples. Each of the gods had a particular attribute and Silay hoped the temples held corresponding artifacts of power. She found one more Cardit high temple before others discovered the rest, in it she found the Eye of Ler. Ler was the goddess of mysteries, the artifact was a stone that gave Silay prophetic visions. She didn't end her search on Cardamoon, she devoted her life to finding every artifact of power she could.

When Silay had nine items of power she moved to Leviathan. Leviathan is a lifeless world on the edge of the out sectors. It is a dark, rocky world and even if someone happened to come there the fortress she built would not be readily found. It didn't matter to Silay that she was far from the inhabited parts of the universe, she had an item, the Wings of Eagles, that would transport her anywhere. By the time she got to Leviathan Silay was 150 years old, she looked like she was in her twenties thanks to a ring of immortality. She was ruthless in her quest for power, she killed anyone in her way. At one time others like her who sought power artifacts made attempts on her fortress, none that tried ever returned and soon people quit trying.

~|~

"We have found what were looking for and now it is our time as a crew. We have been preparing but we aren't ready yet. We face a great obstacle before we retrieve Paintr's sword, it rests in the fortress of Leviathan." The Old Man looked around the room gauging the reactions to his words, he saw fear in most eyes, in those he didn't he saw ignorance. He told them about Silay Edire and said, "No one knows all of what she has, no one has ever come back from Leviathan to say. There are a few knowns, she is an ordinary person, it is her artifacts that give her power. Something gives her incredible strength, she likes to tear the heads off people who get in her way. Something else gives her the ability to teleport, another to fly, another to shape-change. Another artifact keeps her young, she was an archaeologist over two hundred years ago." He looked around the room again and was glad to see the proper fear, getting the sword may be the hardest thing they'd ever face, if they survived.

Excerpt from Shadow Stalkers by S.E.Estes

Battle

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Let's do this...

Joel's tech got them through the first part of the tunnel with minimal loss but from that point tech wasn't what they needed. When they were near the halfway point they saw that the number of enemy guards had grown. "It's an illusion!" the monk shouted over the din of battle but that was little help, the non-psionics had no way of telling who the real targets were. Arleen and Den strengthened their shields, it helped but not enough, a lot of shots were wasted and more of the crew fell. The illusions got worse the closer in they got, by the time the tunnel was cleared a third of the crew was dead or injured. Arleen and Den were tiring from the exertion of shielding but the illusions were gone and Goren could concentrate on the door.

When the door fell a flood of emotions came out, their psi shielding stemmed it some but it was enough to make them hesitate. Before the cybers could get their shields up a ball of fire screamed through the door, Wilder and Fedence caught the worst of it and they went down. The three remaining cybers got their shields raised in time to stop the next fireball. Goren caught it and turned it on the enemy, as it tore through them the crew attacked.

The battle was confusion, blasters firing, swords clashing, emotions storming through the cave. Fire and rock flew everywhere, death reigned. Goren and the psionics stayed back, while the others were fighting Goren was concentrating on the cave ceiling and the monk was strengthening him. Arleen and Den were shielding them from interference but they couldn't hold everything back and Goren was struggling to focus. He felt the monk's strength uniting with his own but he also felt added strength from within himself and knew it was coming from Brend. Their combined support brought his power into focus and the cave ceiling began to vibrate. Goren pushed himself, he was a high rated telekinetic and had reserves he hadn't even tapped. Rock began falling from above onto the combatants, bits of stone at first but soon huge chunks began to drop, crushing those it hit, enemy and crew alike. Goren pushed himself beyond his limits and felt his mind expand, another presence had joined him, he sensed her thoughts and knew he'd achieved the multi-mind. The monk saw what was happening and knew what was about to come, "Hade!" he roared over the battle, their agreed signal, the Saru word for run. The crew ran for the doorway and with a herculean effort Goren sent the cave ceiling crashing to the floor. The effort proved too much for him, he felt something in his mind snap and he was falling in darkness.

Excerpt from Shadow Stalkers by S.E.Estes

Flight

I wonder when she'll be back?

Mess

The house is a mess, if I don't get the kitchen clean today critters are going to start showing up.

Love

I'm in love with a myth.

Amusement

Gonna amuse myself for a while. I can never write a whole lot at once, need to take recreation breaks, visit the circus of my mind.

Onward

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Here we go... hopefully.

She climbed out of the river with no idea where she was or how she got there. The last thing she remembered was pain, a tearing in her mind, then blackness. Suddenly she was underwater, fighting for air and clawing for the surface. When breath filled her lungs again she saw she was in a river and swam to shore. She stood and as the water streamed down her she looked around, the place looked familiar but she didn't know why. Then it came to her, the shadowy land, the river, it was the place from her dreams. Dugree knew if she followed the running water she would come to a sea of lights and she remembered the dream where she saw Jestr walking in the shallow water. He stepped into one of the lights and was gone, Dugree thought, perhaps, one of the countless lights there was her way out but she didn't know how she'd find it.

She walked along the river for days, several times she saw the flashes of light that had attracted her bird self, she knew the lights belonged to creatures like the one she'd injured in her panic. Dugree was wrong to harm it, she knew that action had somehow brought her to this land but she didn't understand the connection.

~|~

Joel's team had not only strengthened the shields and modified the blasters to shield cut, they came up with a new firing system. Blasters can't be fired from behind raised shields, the back of a shield is unstable and blaster fire there can easily cause it to explode. Shields have to be dropped to fire and that leaves the shooters exposed, the team came up with a way to minimize that. Timers on the shields caused them to drop halfway for microseconds and set off auto-firers on the blasters, all the shooters had to do was pick out a target and wait. There was still some exposure and to further minimize it the timers were on a random sequencer so the enemy couldn't figure out the timing of the shield drops.

The cybers came up with the new shields, the blasters lined up behind them and then the psionics. Because of all the shielding, including that given by the rocks and the door at the other end of the tunnel, the crew only had to worry about the effects of the three enemy psionics in the tunnel, the thirteen behind the door wouldn't be a problem until about halfway down. Line-of-sight was important to some types of psi but it was fairly certain that the enemy had talents inside that could affect them before Goren brought the door down. The monk didn't need line-of-sight but Goren had to see what he was manipulating, Arleen and Den didn't need line-of-sight to shield. The monk and Goren started things off, the monk sent amplified fear emotions while Goren concentrated on a rock-outcropping where he sensed three guards hiding. The firing timers were set and the blasters started picking out their targets. Most of the crew had little to do for the first part of the assault, they were to cover the rear and wait for the door to fall to begin the close-in work.

Excerpt from Shadow Stalkers by S.E.Estes

Smokin

I smoke too much... ::lighting one up::

More Explanations

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

More background for the next section. Dugree Bogrude is a clairvoyant rediscovering her talent. One night Dugree had a dream...

The day they caught up with the bandits Dugree had a dream. She began by searching the river, when a light flashed she struck and was pulled under. She dreamed of the bandits camped near a stand of rocks, sentries were all over. It seemed like she was watching from a high place in the distance. A step startled her and when she turned she felt a sharp pain. Blackness came and she couldn't breathe, her eyes cleared and she was held underwater by something with tentacles. She tore at it with her claws and beak until it let her go. Her head broke the surface of the river and she flew away.

Dugree had trouble rising that evening, the dream disturbed her, for some reason she felt great remorse for tearing at the creature, more, she believed one day she'd know why. During chow she worked out the coordinates of the place she saw the bandits and when they'd be there. "We have four days to get to our objective," she told the team, "I want Wilder and the Snail there in two." She was glad when they moved out and the sands filled her senses.

Her dream comes back to haunt her later...

Dugree tried to keep her mind on what was ahead but she couldn't stop thinking about her last prophetic dream. The closeness of the tunnel walls and the sound of running water reminded her of being held by tentacles. She tore at the beast and got away but she knew she had done something very wrong. Dreams are often symbolic and she wondered what the symbols were telling her. When her light hit the stream they were following she remembered being pulled underwater and wondered if the tentacles had done that. As soon as the water engulfed her she had her vision of the bandits and knew it had something to do with the creature. She was filled with remorse and didn't know why, couldn't understand why actions from a dream could make her feel so guilty.

Dread followed Dugree but it wasn't the tunnel, the feeling of the walls closing in that filled her with terror, it was something she couldn't understand. They were in a sim, intense but nothing to fear, she was afraid anyway. The end of the tunnel and what lay beyond were waiting.

When the lights went out they moved in silence, they were coming to a small cave that led up to one of the sentry posts. When they drew near Wilder crept to the opening and saw the cave was clear, he got the team and led them through. The tunnel sloped down and was as slick as the first part, the going was slow and treacherous in total darkness. When Wilder got them to the rock Dugree was surprised how well everyone seemed. Arleen, who'd been so afraid going in, looked peaceful, on the other hand Dugree was terrified. Jestr went up the rock and took out the lone sentry, Dugree, with an overpowering sense of foreboding, went up next. It was all the same, the point of view, the time of day, the sentries were all where her dream had shown them. A step startled her and in that moment she realized why she'd been so afraid, why she felt so bad about hurting the creature, she turned and felt a sharp pain. Blackness came. Her head broke the surface of the river and she swam to shore.

Dancr just reached the top of the rock when Dugree started and turned to her, with a look of anguish their leader collapsed. Dancr rushed to Dugree's side and checked her out, there was no sign of injury and her vitals were normal. Dancr went back down and reported the problem to the monk who followed her up the rock. After he looked her over he said, "There's nothing wrong with her physically, she's received some kind of psychic shock and she's in a coma. We can't help her, she'll come out of it on her own if her mind heals itself."

Excerpt from Shadow Stalkers by S.E.Estes

After All

Turns out it was me, I was too tired to write and needed a nap. Refreshed now but she's a little miffed, she despises my weaknesses.

Sefi

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Brief explanation... Stalking Cougar became a Shadow Walker long ago, Sefi is also one and an ally with him against Shadow Walkers who are uniting under James to conquer the universe. They are going to do it with the help of creatures from a dimension of fire who are bent on multi-dimensional conquest. Sefi, who was turned by James, has undergone reconstructive surgery and is infiltrating Shadow Walker command using the name Diah. They are mounting a campaign against a powerful foe named Silay Edire who waits in a fortress on a world called Leviathan.

~|~

They were coming and they wanted something. No one came to Leviathan unless they wanted what Silay had... power. She was ready to defend her power, eagerly ready. They, like everyone who'd come before, would leave their bodies rotting on her desolate world.

~|~

"You will be ready in four months." Koya could see there was more to what James said, "Why four months?" "I sent a team ahead to Leviathan," he told her, "they'll be there then. When they arrive they'll open a way for us." Koya looked at Sefi, "Well, Diah?" Sefi was thrown, in all her time feeding with James she hadn't seen a hint of what he'd done in his mind and she wondered how he could have hidden it from her. Stalling wasn't an option, Koya knew as well as she that the army was ready, "We'll be ready." she told them and hoped that she'd be able to get the news to Cougar in time.

Excerpt from Shadow Stalkers by S.E.Estes

Torn Apart

I'm so frustrated, I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams. Three blogs and not a damn thing to say... I need words!

Eerie

My horoscope for today:

You tend to have projects that are too large for you alone, so you try to enlist help and partners. You're challenged to be motivating without being manipulative. Arrangements must make everyone happy.

They must have read my post about my new site where I'm trying to enlist contributors. Just a little too coincidental.

Awake

Ran out of steam, no more ideas, no more energy but too keyed up to sleep.

Playtime

We're goofing off, started two more blogs, one is where I'll write my third book, The Dimension Wars and the other, Trader's Hand, is for art. I'm hoping artists will come by Trader's Hand and post stories, poems, art or links to art of their own.

Shadow Walkers

By way of explanataion of the next stall.

When I was not fighting I was researching, looking for answers to what I was. I traveled to many worlds chasing legends and scientific knowledge but I never found answers, until I reached Faseet... a world under a red sun. The sun was red, the sky was blood and when I got off the transport I saw a strange, twisted city in the distance. I had been there before, my dreams had taken me there more than once.

"We face an enemy we do not see." began the briefing, "They come out of the shadows and someone is gone. The people live in fear, the streets have become a gauntlet. Most of the activity centers on Esyo, our largest city. It is up to you to take it back." We had many questions but received few answers, it was apparent they did not what was going on, did not know how their enemy could be stopped, how we could even engage them.

As we drew near to Esyo I felt as if it called to me, as if I needed to be there. I did not want to go into that city, it was filled with a dark evil I did not want to face, but I went in anyway. I wish I hadn't.

Our mission was to each patrol a sector and shoot anything out of the ordinary. I was not long before I heard blaster fire going off here and there. I was sure innocents would die and not just at the hand of the enemy. More than once I was spooked into drawing on a civilian, I knew others' hands would not be as quick to hold fire.

I was walking down a street and in front of me a shadow formed and arms reached out to take someone. I fired into the shadows but I did not appear to score a hit because the person was pulled in. As the shadows dissipated I saw a flash of red. I continued my patrol and sometime later I was going down another street when I heard a breath behind me. I began to turn when a titanium grip circled my arms. I was pulled into shadows. I drew my silver knife and then came the words I was expecting to hear, "Why do you threaten me?" "Release your hold and I will not." I demanded. He let go and said, "I would not have harmed you, brother." I knew his answer but I said it anyway, "I am not your brother." I heard a low laugh, "I once was like you, one day you will be like me." "I am not like you!" I shouted and out of the shadows came those red glowing eyes with their drawing, hypnotic power. I looked away, I would not see the images in his eyes, I would not see Dawn Song die again. He laughed, "Your time will come." and threw me into the street.

I searched the nets for any references I could find of Shadow Walkers. It took two weeks to find something. It was an ancient book about vampires, not like the books I had read, this one was knowledgeable, written by someone who knew vampires. In the book was this passage:

Shadow Walkers

There is a legend from vampire antiquity, the legend of the Shadow Walkers. An ancient vampire, centuries old at least, can learn to enter a realm called the Shadow Lands. From this place they can wrap shadows around themselves in order to walk in daylight for a time. If a vampire walks in shadows too long he will become a Shadow Walker, permanently tied to the Shadow Lands. A Shadow Walker does not feed on blood like a vampire but on the minds of thinking beings. Their blood-red eyes carry a hypnotic quality and if one is caught in their gaze they become powerless while the Shadow Walker drains their mind of all thought. The Shadow Walker then temporarily possesses all the knowledge of its victim. Shadow Walkers are not easily killed, they are far more powerful than ordinary vampires, though they still are susceptible to prolonged sunlight and silver. It has been told that one day when men live among the stars a leader would arise among the Shadow Walkers and build a city in the Shadow Lands. From there he would lead the Shadow Walkers to dominion over all thinking creatures.

I now understood why the Shadow Walker called me brother.

Excerpt from The Thrall Wars Journals by S.E.Estes

Another Part

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Into the breach... almost... still mulling over the battle scene. Once again, feel free to comment or make suggestions.

Cougar watched Isu in the darkness but she didn't make her move. It was coming, perhaps in battle, perhaps elsewhere. It was vengeance and revenge was personal, often demanding intimacy.

Arleen planned on staying close to Isu during battle, she was prepared to do whatever necessary to prevent the murder she kept seeing, to interfere with fate.

There were forty-seven people guarding the tunnel, all of them shielded in one way or another. The crew brought some shields with them but they wouldn't hold up to the beating they were going to take, on the other hand it was likely that the enemy's shields would fail first. Joel and his team developed several shield breakers, two of a new technology that promised to cut through any kind of shield. Against the three psionics guarding the hall were the monk, Arleen, Den and Goren but only the monk had enough battle experience to match what they were probably going to face. It was the natural rock shielding that was going to pose the greatest problem in their fight to reach the command center door. Beyond the door the only known was that there were over sixty people inside, including thirteen psionics. The Old Man estimated that by the time they got inside they'd be facing odds of at least two to one.

Excerpt from Shadow Stalkers by S.E.Estes

Preparation

Two days off... I'm ready for fun! That means countless hours at the keyboard. Preparing myself for a marathon.

When Wizards Dream - 8

A mini story by S.E.Estes
Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Final

Faceless Guardian

"You have learned the power of the storms, that is a mastery to be had for the strong but strength is not all that is needed for what is to be faced. Before your next lesson it is time to explain, there must be no doubts in you mind, uncertain thoughts will lead to certain failure." Once again the wizards stood over him, he didn't understand why they felt it necessary to come when he slept. The speaker went on, "You have not asked but we will answer your questions. We called you Three because that is what you are, to explain, we must begin with One."

"There was a young wizard who sought the united power of the storms, to this end he went on a quest of Union. This is not the time for the telling of quests, that will come later, for now it is enough to say that he came before the Faceless Guardian and was granted power of the Guardian. It was this power that saw him to the end of his quest and brought him to the attention of Seris Black. Seris sought a guardian over the castle he had built to hold the Key and one who could command the storms and learned the power of guardianship from the eternal Guardian was strength enough. Enough for all but two, the Three and the Other. We feared the dark wizard would come with his army before you could arrive but the fates have declared otherwise." You killed the Guardian and at his dying he must have seen who you are for he passed his powers on to you, you are now the Guardian with the power of the storms within you. You also killed the Key Master whose power also lives in you, hers is the tale of the Two.

Elemental Shapeshifter

"A bleak wind blew through the town, he was bored. The air elemental was looking for something to do and thought he would give a people place a try. They were limited beings in many ways but their short lives could be interesting and some were even intelligent. When he found a gathering place he stayed to watch, unwilling to reveal himself right away he watched from the room's smoky air. He was losing interest and was about to blow away when he heard something that made him stay. 'The cursed thing should be killed.' 'You paid to see it as did we all.' 'Even so, think if the shapeshifter gets free.' It was all he needed to hear, finally, something new to relieve the boredom."

"He found her easily, he had seen the places where the mortals kept oddities. It was a squalid, foul smelling prison on wheels where those unfortunate enough to be different were caged for the simple-minded to gawk at. She was tightly chained to the wall of her cage, her eyes were filled with pain and a hopelessness that made him feel for her. He was not used to pain and sadness, he did not involve himself in mortal affairs, and he found the sensations intriguing. It made him angry that someone would inflict such feelings on another for personal gain and he decided to get involved."

"A warm breeze enveloped her, she wondered where it was coming from on such a cold night. It was comforting, something she was not used to, and tears came to her eyes. The wind seemed to speak, to question, 'What are those?' and then he stood before her. She was not sure she saw him and wondered about the state of her mind, he was insubstantial, an image wavering in the air. She decided she was seeing things then she felt his wispy finger trace a tear down her cheek. 'What is this?' he breathed. 'Who are you?' she wondered, still uncertain of her mind. 'I am.' he whispered across her wet cheek. 'Tears,' she told him, 'they come from grief.' 'Grief?' blew in her ear. 'Sadness, pain...' 'Ahh...' the wind sighed. The air gathered before her, a storm in the shape of a man, and tore the chains from her. The angry wind caught her up and as they walked away from her prison he released the storm upon it."

"She gave herself to him, the physical pleasure overshadowed by another new feeling, gratitude. In return for what she had given him he gave her a part of himself and, in time, an elemental shapeshifter was born. That is who you killed, the Two, and, as did the One, she passed her powers on to you. To have a thing is very different from knowing and using a thing, though, and that is why your heart must be sure, it is time to meet an elemental."

Early

Went in to work at seven with a long day ahead but Loretta came in early, not sure why, so I left. Went shopping and blew my twenty bucks on coffee and cheap tv dinners. I suppose if I stayed at work longer I'd have a little more money for groceries, or bills...

Bed

She keeps me up way too late.

Stalling

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

This part is a way to delay the battle scene. It had to be written anyway. I'm going to post it as I write it, I like the black backgorund and font coloring. Mainly, though, if anyone has a comment or suggestion while it's being written I'll thank them as one of my muses. Jestr, The Snail and others in the book are actually living people that have helped with the writing in one way or another.

The test was against impossible odds, Draven liked it. As the Snail walked up the dark tunnel he thought how much this mission was like their time in assassin school, Jestr needed him then, too. He looked back into the darkness, he wondered if he'd see him again. He still didn't understand his relationship with Jestr, they couldn't be called friends, they rarely talked, other than fight they didn't do anything together but some bond existed that the Snail couldn't understand. He risked his life to help Jestr many times and Jestr did the same for him, and would, the Snail knew he could count on Jestr to have his back but he couldn't say why. His mind returned to that time in the school, it was alot like the battle ahead, impossible, and that's what he liked best.

He didn't know the test had begun, the day after his captors' visit his cell door opened as usual and he walked to the other cell that would hold a weapon. When he got there he saw that things were different, instead of one weapon waiting for him there were racks of weapons. He looked them over, every weapon he used in his training was there, one for every day he'd been there, and several new ones added. Only by counting up the weapons did he know that he'd been there sixty-seven days, he would've enjoyed it if he wasn't locked up. Draven didn't like being caged, his cells had been prisons to him and he got out of them, with seventy-three weapons at hand there had to be a way out of this one. It wasn't something he had to think about right then, he had a test to face and no idea what it would be. At first it looked like more of the same, one person came in, Draven picked up a weapon and killed him. Draven turned to go back but saw something that changed the whole test, two more people were inside his cage, he picked up another weapon. He started flagging when it got to five, at seven opponents he was fighting a losing battle and had a faint feeling he might die. His keepers had other ideas, a door to the cage opened and Draven stepped through. As Draven walked down a new tunnel he wondered if he passed the test.

It swam to her out of the darkness, a knife thrown in battle and Dancr falling. Arleen knew Isu had changed her plan to hide her murder in the heat of the battle ahead. She made her way up the line to where she'd last seen Dancr, "Dancr?" she whispered. "Yes." "Isu's going to do it in battle, a thrown knife with strange markings." Arleen warned and fell back in place.

He didn't plan on staying around to find out if he passed the test, he knew what his reward would be if he did. Draven started looking for a way out, there were turnings to the tunnel but they were all barred off, he tried some of the bars but they were beyond his strength. Turning back got him to more bars, there was only one way to go, if he was going to get out it would be at the end of the tunnel. He kept a weapon, a ghjo, a curved knuckle knife, that he could easily palm but he also slipped a knife up his sleeve, he knew the ghjo would be found but he was hoping they'd stop looking when it was.

Isu wondered about what she was planning to do, it wasn't a matter of right or wrong on her mind, she knew she was right, it was a matter of savoring Dancr's death. The hurt Isu saw in M'Kael's eyes would haunt Isu the rest of her life, Dancr needed to pay for that and Isu wanted her to see who exacted her retribution.

Excerpt from Shadow Stalkers by S.E.Estes

Meals

It works like this at Fast-n-Eat, the more you make there, the cheaper your food. They're big at telling the new hires that they get half-price meals and it's a big draw for the kind of pay they'll be getting but there is a seamy side to the employee meal deal that must be told. I'll probably lose my job over this one but what the hell, I'm still paying half-price meals and Grub-n-Go offers free meals to all employees. Half-price meals at Fast-n-Eat are only available to hourly employees on the day they work, only once, for them only (no family members) and not too much (the last isn't specified but the manager's have work-to-food ratio they use, in other words lazy people don't need as much to eat). Now, salaried employees (managers) who probably make twice as much as the hourly people, don't have to pay a thing. In other words, the more you can afford to pay for the food the less you actually have to pay. I'm not begrudging the managers their meals, most of them work hard, I'm just saying Grub-n-Go starts looking good to people that work just as hard and make a lot less money.

The Real Problem

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Ok, it's not the coffee, it's not my muse... it's me. I wrote myself into a corner (I do that a lot) and I'm having a hell of a time getting out. I have this big battle scene to write where my heroes are facing impossible odds. I have such a hard time writing battle scenes, I don't do hack and slash, and I don't want to come up with some hokey idea for them got get out of their jam. I complain about not being able to write but "I know it's my own damn fault".

While they walked up the tunnel the Snail had a feeling of wrongness, bad things were going to happen before they got out, before they even saw action. Arleen hadn't said anything to him so he didn't think it had anything to do with him. She hadn't said anything to the Old Man either but he did see her talking to Dancr not long after the lights came on. He shrugged it off, he was ready for trouble, and his mind turned back to his memories. One day the cell didn't open, he smelled no food and later visitors came. He didn't get up from his mat and waited for them to speak, "You're wondering what's going on. You're in school, the last. You're a special person with unique talents, someone like you needs proper training." Finally Draven spoke, "Weapons? Proper training for what?" "Killing of course," the visitor who spoke answered, "this is an assassin school." "Seems more like a prison, to me." Draven said and the visitor smiled a little, "Merely a precaution." "Against what?" "Our property's escape."

"There's danger up this tunnel, Dancr, it hangs over you and Isu more than any. Something's going to happen when the lights go out." Arleen couldn't say what would happen, she couldn't see into their darkness, she just knew it would be soon and in secret. Her talent was coming into focus, she was learning to direct her sight and understand the timing of the things she saw but it wasn't enough. As much as she hated to, she needed to see deeper, she needed to part the darkness.

The Snail stopped, the wrongness was behind him. As he was turning he heard Arleen, "Something's wrong with Jestr." The Snail rushed over to him, he was too late, Jestr hit the ground. The monk brought his medkit and checked him out, "It's a plasma burn and it's been eating into his leg this whole time." He got the plasma cleaned out so the wound wouldn't get worse but it was too deep to patch with synthskin. "We've got to get him to a med unit, there's not too much I can do." he told the crew. "We can't stay here." the Snail agreed and picked Jestr up. He settled his partner on his shoulder, "I've got him." he said and headed up the tunnel, it wasn't the first time. "How do you expect to stop me from escaping when I'm fighting?" Draven asked, he was sure they had an answer. "If you pass your final test we'll implant you with nanites. They'll not only give us all the tracking we'll need, they'll give us the means of destroying you if you do try to escape, or just make us unhappy."

Isu toyed with the hilt of the knife. She picked it up in the command center, one of the enemy's. A knife thrown in battle, no one would know the hand that delivered it. She had thought to do it in the darkness but when Jestr fell she realized the folly, she would be exposed. No one would see the throw that killed her M'Kael's tormentor.

Cougar had been watching Isu, as they walked she fingered a knife at her side, the weapon that could be his death.

She'd been watching Isu and Dancr in the light, waiting for the time of secret when Isu would make her move, she planned on stopping it. Perhaps fate sometimes couldn't be changed by the one destined, perhaps the hand of others had to be in it as fates interwined. Life was that way, few lived in isolation and even then there were connections that couldn't be severed. Perhaps Arleen's visions were to help her see the things her hands needed to take up.

Wilder, Fendence and Goren returned to the crew, "Lights out from here, we've got a mile to go. Two turnings and its a straight shot to a door." Wilder reported. Fedence said the tunnel and door was heavily guarded but the sentries weren't exposed like the command center. The ones not hidden by rock were behind shields, Goren explained that they were also psi-shielded, there were thirteen psionics behind the door and three in the tunnel. He couldn't delve ability so he didn't know what they were up against but it was clear to them that they'd found what was really the command center. "Figures," the Snail said, "it was too easy." They doused their lights and continued up the tunnel in the darkness, while they walked they discussed tactics, when they passed the first turning they'd go on in silence. Before the second turning the Snail set Jestr down and assigned a guard to him, "Jestr, wait here and stay quiet. Quigg will be with you if you need anything." he whispered to his partner, he'd be back for him if they survived.

Excerpt from Shadow Stalkers by S.E.Estes

Heaven

With a word she can get what she came for..." She knows me so well.

Coffee

Part of the problem is I ran out of coffee yesterday. Another of my addictions... I don't know what to do with myself when I reach for that steaming cup and there's nothing there. I suppose I should tear myself away from my computer long enough to go get some but that's not going to happen. She feels close and I don't want to be gone if she comes. I think I'll make some weak stuff with yesterday's grounds... gack... pathetic...

Always Waiting

I have a feeling she's not coming... I'll wait until I can't stay awake but I foresee a wordless night.

A Better Place

If it's not clear already, I hate my job. There isn't one thing I like about it... well, I like the people there but not enough for me to look forward to going to work. I want to stay home and be frustrated trying to write. If I'm going to be miserable I'd rather it be over my writing than handing food out a window.

Release

Sometimes I seek release, I want to scream, "Get out of my head! Set me free!" When you get what you want, even when you get what you need, there are prices to pay.

Miss You

Time weighs heavy when I can't find words, I don't understand why I always feel so driven to write.

White

although my eyes were open wide they might just as well been closed

The white page stares at me, unmarred by a single letter. I want my words to dance across it but they falter. It's not a matter of what to write, it's the how to that halts their steps.

Zodiac

Relax mental chatter and strive for clarity. Important subconscious creativity can arise if you quiet discursive thinking and listen to intuition. Be alert to original thoughts.

My horoscope for today. Very aproppriate, sometimes... like today... I can't seem to get the mental chatter to relax. I know if I was more successful at doing that I'd get more of my book written. My mind has a way of jumping from thing to thing, work on the book, look at some art, work on a short story, watch a little tv, listen to some music, make a post, work on the book.... In reality it should be, work on the book... I still have one more to go and this one is taking forever. Less rambling, more writing... easier said than done.

Always

Drawing Hands M.C.Escher

Revenge

Cool air blew on Jestr's cheek, he was outside somewhere with the crew. "We made it out?" he asked and heard the Snail say, "Yeah..." as he felt himself falling. Torajiro Takeda had forgotten about revenge, there was no room for it where there was love. Miya Heike worked at the Sakura Inn, it made no difference to Torajiro that she was of low birth and he had no family to protest his interest. He came to the inn every night for sake and found opportunities to speak to him, she was quiet but strong, she wasn't afraid to speak her mind. She was gentle in all her ways, even her most vehement was a summer breeze. They made love one night and he never saw her again, she'd left the inn and no one knew where she went. He was devastated and spent the rest of his years in his house brooding.

Takashi used the resources of the Nishimura house, his house, to search for the assassin while he meditated on the steel. First he would know each thing as itself and then try to learn their unity. To shape steel one had to understand the nature of steel, to make a sword one needed to shape the steel, but he couldn't understand why the monks gave him a bonsai tree, it didn't seem to fit. He really understood none of the items, not certain where to begin he turned his attention to the steel. With the thought of beginnings still in his mind he realized to know steel he had to know its beginnings. He worked in the mines pulling out the raw ore until he understood its life below the earth, he worked in the foundries until he understood its fiery rebirth and then he returned to his room. He picked the steel up and looked into its nature, it was of the earth, strong and durable and it was of the fire, changeable. Steel was born to be strong and made to be shaped, to create something with it was to fulfill its destiny. To shape the steel he had to be in harmony with it, he was strong, founded, that was his monastery background but like the ore he had to be torn from his home to be completed. He had been discontent with his lot, all he wanted was to go back to the monastery but, like the ore, there was no going back, not in his present form. He needed to go through the fire to begin his purpose and he wondered what that fire would be.

Unless he were stricken down in his isolation his trial wouldn't come where he was, it was time to go out. He didn't care where he went, it was the going that was important, in tune with life, open to whatever comes. What came was a town, an inn and a woman. He'd been walking outside for nearly a month and saw a town in the distance, he decided it would be nice to rest inside for a night and headed for it. Near the edge of town was an inn and he went inside and found a table. A sad, pretty woman came and took his order and over his meal he couldn't help watching her. It wasn't her beauty that had his attention, for some reason her sadness touched him, he wondered how one so young and pretty could be so troubled. It was an odd thought, he knew the world can be a dark place for anyone, still, he couldn't stop watching. She noticed and grew uneasy under his gaze, when he ordered another drink she was fearful. When he finished his meal he got a room and went to bed, he slept deeply and woke early. Dawn was still a hint in the sky but he smelled food and went downstairs to see if he could get breakfast. On the way down he came across the woman from the night before sitting on the stairs weeping, he thought he should pass but stopped anyway.

She looked up at him, wondering what he wanted, clearly there was room for him to pass. He was looking down at her, not unkindly but there was a sharpness to his gaze that made her feel naked. He asked something but she couldn't understand his words, her grief was too loud. He asked again, "Do you need help?" She saw the markings in his forehead that said he was from the monastery, she pointed to the mountain where it sat, "Can you take me there?" She took the hand he offered her and Miya Heike left the Sakura Inn and the one she grieved for behind.

Excerpt from Shadow Stalkers by S.E.Estes

Better Mood

She couldn't stay away any longer, I'm so happy!

Time

Off early from work, I was hoping she'd be waiting for me. I'm going to try for patience today, she knows I have all this time on my hands, she'll make sure I do something she wants with it. Nice thing is, we want the same things, bad thing is, she makes me wait for it.

Great Mood

I'm tired as hell, only half-slept about two hours. Early in the morning my son wakes me up with the news that the computer screen won't come on. I see lightning and hear thunder and think it was fried. I tried to go back to sleep, I have to be at work in a couple hours but the thought of no computer woke me up. Unplugged things, turned things on and off and I'm back. I realized today just how dependent on technology I am.

Touched

Vincent

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colours on the snowy linen land

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds and violet haze
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
Colours changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artists' loving hand

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left inside
On that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you Vincent
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They're not listening still
Perhaps they never will...

Vincent Don McLean

Gray

Zach finds there are things worse than heaven and hell.

After Mist Dance died I didn't feel like doin much of nothin so I just wandered around. When the money ran out I tried bummin it for a while but people didn't give a helping hand like they used to. Didn't want to do any fightin, no stealin, nothing that took any effort so I figgered it was time for the preacher.

I set up a tent revival in some backwoods town and put on a hell of a show. Miracles, healings, demon castings, I did it all. Word spread and people came from all over to get some of that old-time religion. I was puttin on a show every night of the week and three times on Sundays. That kind of preachin always gave me a powerful thirst and I started hitting the bottle pretty hard.

One Sunday night I started drinkin and just didn't stop. By the time I got on stage I was stumbling drunk. Things got real quiet, everyone was staring at me then the room started to spin. I reeled to the edge of the stage and threw up on somebody's suit. They ran me out of that town real fast.

I just kept drinkin after that and when winter came I got this cough that wouldn't go away. One night I was layin in some alley, drunk out of my mind, coughing my lungs out and when I went to sleep I woke up in this gray place.

There were all these people standing around doing nothing. It was like they were all looking at something but there was nothing to see but gray. I went over to this lady next to me and tipped my hat, "Howdy Mam, I'm new here. What's everyone doing?" It was like she didn't even hear me so I tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped a little and looked at me all annoyed. I asked her again and she got kinda dreamy-eyed, "I'm looking at home." Well, I didn't see anything so I said, "I don't see nothin." She was pretty abrupt with her answer, "Think of what you want to see and you'll see it." and she turned away.

It was great. Just like being there I could see anywhere or anyone I wanted to see. After fooling around a bit I watched my son.

What began as joy ended in misery. I was so happy to see my son. I couldn't hear nothin but that didn't matter, there he was right before my eyes. He looked to be a fine young man. I followed him on hunts and watched him speak up in council meetings. The one day I saw him with a beautiful young woman. I could tell by the way they looked at each other that it was serious. Later he came before the chief, I was surprised to see that the old dude was still alive. The chief gestured and someone brought Warrior Eye's girlfriend out of the chief's hut. The chief's daughter... I figgered my son was asking the chief to let them get hitched. It also meant he was asking to be the next chief.

The Day of Proving came and it looked like my son had a challenger, a big dude with a nasty look to him. I remembered him, a bully they called Barking Dog because he was always yellin about somethin. He tried something with my son once and even though Warrior's Eye lost, Barking Dog took a pretty good beatin, too. He never messed with my son after that. Well, he was barking now, probably bragging and making threats. The chief raised his hand and Barking Dog shut up. The chief said something for a while and then the challengers squared off.

The whole day was a series of contests, physical and mental. Warrior's Eye had the mental edge, Barking Dog the physical and when it came to the final contest they were even. They were tied together, each given a knife and sent into the jungle. Only one could return. As soon as they were alone Barking Dog tried to knife my son. Warrior's Eye was ready for it and as he dodged the blow he cut the rope and high-tailed it deeper into the jungle. Barking Dog tried to follow Warrior's Eye but he was too slow and soon he gave it up. I went back to my son and saw he'd doubled around and was now watching Barking Dog.

Barking Dog was no hunter and he wasn't worth a hill of beans in the jungle. It was clear he was lost and when it looked like he'd figured that out Barking Dog set up camp. He grubbed some roots and roasted them over a fire then he went to sleep. He never woke up again. Warrior's Eye made sure of that.

Warrior's Eye got the girl and was made chief when the old one died and they lived a happy life. After a time I began noticing this one woman watching my son. She always seemed to show up where he was and did everything she could to get him alone. One day she did. Warrior's Eye was coming back from a hunt, still quite a ways in the jungle, when the flirty girl just happened to come across his path. They talked a bit and then she grabbed ahold of him and started getting all seductive. I saw the look in my son's eye that said it was working. He had a wife, it wasn't right to do her that way and I shouted, "Stop you damn fool!" but of course he couldn't hear. I had to stand there and do nothing while my son did something that was going to cause a lot of hurt.

It was hard to see my son's woman crying, hurt by his stupidity. It was a rough go, it was sad to watch, frustrating to not be able to help, but they got through it and before I knew it they were going to have a baby. It was a happy thought to think I was going to be a grandpa but the happiness faded when I thought that the baby would never know its grandpa. The day came, something went wrong and my son's wife died. The baby lived, a boy, but my son didn't even give him a look, just walked out of the hut and into the jungle.

Warrior's Eye never came back and I didn't watch where he went, I figgered even if I couldn't do anything that little boy needed someone to watch over him. I watched over his sad little life, no one accepted him, they treated him poorly and he didn't have his dad around to encourage him and teach him the ways of things. That little boy needed me.

This place was worse than heaven, worse than hell. In those places I had to dream about the lousy things I did, but in this place I had to watch lousy things done to my grandson and not be able to do a damn thing about it. I started looking for a way out.

I started looking around, seeing if I could find something different in all the grayness. There was nothing, just people standing and watching. Then I tried asking people if they knew who was in charge or the way out. No one answered, most didn't even give me a look. After that I just started walking, didn't know where or what direction but I wasn't going to stop until I found someone in charge or something changed.

I walked a long time and then something changed, I saw a flash of color. I got real alert but I didn't see anything else and after awhile I figgered my mind was playin tricks on me. Then I saw it again and this time I didn't lose sight of it. It moved fast and I had a hard time keeping it in sight but after a time I guess it was tiring because it started to slow down. I wasn't even winded and it didn't take me long to catch up. It tried to get away but it was nothin for me to grab it. When I got a good look at it, it turned out to be a little feller. I squeezed a little then gave him this menacing look and kinda growled, "How do I get out of here?" I could see in his eyes there was a way out but he said, "You are here, there is no way to leave." I squeezed a little tighter but he just shrugged like it didn't bother him none. Then I noticed something about his nose that gave me an idea.

I loosened my grip on him a bit and said, "I suppose you get a lot of people wantin to go back." "Not really," he said, "you're pretty rare. Why do you want to leave?" That was the question I was lookin for, I was pretty glad it came out right off so I didn't have to waste a lot of time jawin with this dude. "Well, Pard," I said, "there's something about life I miss that watchin just don't satisfy." "Ahhh," he nodded, "women." I smiled then said, "Not as much as you'd think, what I really miss is a good drink. Somethin about a long one that watchin and not drinkin makes me want it mighty bad." And now came the payoff. He looked around then said, "I think I can help you with that."

I followed him to this little house and I sat down outside while he went in. He came out with this tiny bottle in his hand and he filled two glasses I could barely see. We drank up and I tell you I felt it, I could only imagine what it was doin to him. He poured a couple more drinks and I started tellin him stories until the bottle was empty. He went back inside and got another bottle, we kept it up until he finally came out of the house empty-handed. He looked pretty miserable when he said, "That's it. No more for a month." I gave him a sympathetic look, "A whole month without a drink, that's pretty bad Pard." I scratched my head for a bit then I perked up, "I got an idea..." I trailed off then I said, "Nah, you wouldn't go for it. Kinda risky." He got the look of defiance I was hopin for and asked, "Go for what?" I rubbed my chin a bit then explained, "You send me back and I go get this gallon of hundred year old scotch I've been savin up." He looked scared so I said, "Told you it was risky, figgered you weren't up to it." The defiance came back and he said, "Can't send you back to your own body but I know a way to switch you with someone who just arrives." He got this arrogant look on his face, "It's kinda risky." I looked a bit scared and asked, "Risky how?" He smiled, probably glad that he had the upper hand now, "The newly arrived are newly dead. No telling what you've got to deal with when you get inside the body." I could appreciate what he was saying but my grandson needed me, "A bottle of scotch bigger than your house... I'd go anywhere for a drink and that's some mighty fine scotch." That clinched it with him. As I lay in that hospital bed fighting for life I wondered what he told his boss when he sobered up.

Excerpt from The Godz of Earth by S.E.Estes

Back

Seeing the blackness of the day relieved only by one lonely post was driving me crazy. No complaints, maintenance is maintenance, but it was making me nuts not being able to post. I know I really don't have a whole lot to say, a lot of lamenting and rejoicing about my muse mostly, but I'm addicted to it. Every opportunity to write something, even if it turns out to be inane, is bliss for me.

Jungle

Zach seems destined to dark times.

After I killed Hiram Crane I was plagued with dreams for years. I tried everything I could to make them go away, even went to war a time or two, but nothing helped. That was until I met a woman. She was pretty, she was sweet and I got to thinkin on settlin down. Thing was, when I asked her she turned me down because her father didn't like me. It was the first time I ever hurt over a woman and I tell you, it sure cured the dreams. Never had another dream and didn't do a thing worth remembering for years. After a while I got to feelin restless, I couldn't take living one day the same as the other, so I went lookin for a war.

Thing about war, there's always one goin on somewhere and I found one in jungle country. It was rainy season and we were heading for some objective when we came under heavy fire. Most of the platoon died right off and a bunch more during the firefight. Our captain figgered we'd had it and called for a surrender. I told him it was a bad idea. "We'll die if we don't surrender." he told me and I said, "We'll die horribly if we do." He looked at me a minute then yelled, "Throw your weapons into the clearing." I thought about killing him but the others had already started throwing their weapons out. I knew this was going to be bad but I threw my weapons out anyway.

They marched us for days with little water and nothing to eat until we came to a prison camp. They started questioning and beating us right away. They took the captain away first and when they brought him back it didn't even look like him anymore. They dragged another fella out and he came back unrecognizable, too. This kept up until they got us all. After we ate some watery rice one of the fellas asked, "Do you think they're done with us?" They all looked at the captain and he shook his head, "Be strong. We'll get through this, we don't have any information for them." I knew none of us would live through this.

I lost track of how many times we were questioned, but when they finally figgered we had nothing for them there were only three of us left. The captain said, "The beatings have ended, we're going to survive this." I just looked at him and figgered they really didn't teach these fellas a whole lot about war. The next morning they marched us out of the prison camp, the captain died before we got to the labor camp.

Every time I tried to escape I took a bad beating and got put back to work. After a while I couldn't escape anymore and then I couldn't work. They kept tryin to encourage me to get back to work then they got tired and left me in the jungle to

I woke up in the place of light again. I was getting pretty sick of all the questions and punishments and deals so I hollered out, "Im getting sick of yer game!" The next thing, I was in the dark place again. I hollered out the same thing. Then I was some place in between. It was all gray and that was all I had a chance to see because I woke up in a village by the sea. Night and day I was plagued by dreams of my life and I didn't feel much like going anywhere or doing anything so I stayed in the village. The people there were happy to have me because I was a good hunter and fisherman, I pulled my weight.

I learned the language of the people and realized they'd been calling me Sad Hunter. One night after dinner when it was time to talk and tell stories they asked me, "Why are you sad?" It was their first time to ask me to talk at the fire and they'd done right by me so I figgered I'd give it to them straight, "I lived a hard life. I wronged people and killed people and spent most of my life warring. I have dreams that come to me every night and bring me sad memories." Some looked like they didn't understand but all the old ones nodded their heads. That was it, nothing more was said but that was their way, they didn't spend a lot of time talkin about what they were going to do, they just went and did it. What they did was find me a woman.

Her name was Mist Dance. She was a gentle soul and every night she would sing me to sleep. My dreams would be so peaceful, happy memories, life by the sea with Mist Dance, but they would always end with someone dying. I was happy during the day and most of the night, that was fine by me. We had a fine boy and when he became a man I gave him the name Warrior's Eye. As a child he loved to hear all my war stories. There was no war among these people but he took to warring ways. He looked at everything and thought about them in terms of defense and strategy. We talked late into the night about ways to defend our land from invaders.

It was good we did, our land was invaded.

Mist Dance and I were sleeping when I heard a shout from the beach. It sounded like trouble so I told Mist Dance to wait in the hut and I went down to the beach. Fifteen long canoes were heading for the shore and one had already landed. The person who shouted, a fisherman named Night Walker, was dead. I ran back to the hut raising the alarm the whole way. I got my gun and then went for Warrior's Eye. I told him to gather the men and put together a plan of defense. I'd hold off the attackers as long as I could.

I was low on ammo, I figgered I could put down a dozen of them but that still left about fifty we had to deal with. There were forty men in our village and none of them knew a thing about fighting except my son and he'd never been tested. We were in trouble. I did what I could then I moved back with the rest of the men and we put up as best a fight as we could. It wasn't good enough. When the fighting ended the huts were on fire, many of the men were dead and many of the women had been taken away. Mist Dance was among them.

The men that weren't totally whipped were all for going right after them to get the women back. Warrior's Eye spoke what I was thinking, "If you go after them now you will be dead and the women will be theirs. They are expecting us, we can not fight all of them, we could not even fight the ones who came. I have a plan." It was a good plan, the plan of a seasoned fighter. My son had really earned his name.

We left for the enemy island two days later and arrive at night. We slipped past the beach side of the island and anchored on the cliff side. When there was enough light we climbed up and waited for the next nightfall. When we got to the village it was like Warrior's Eye expected, there were very few sentries and everyone else was busy drinkin and messin with our women. We had to restrain a couple of men from trying to rush in right then. When they all had either gone to their huts or passed out we moved in. We took out the sentries without an alarm and proceeded to cut the throats of the rest of the men. When we finished with the ones outside we started on the huts.

I'd spotted what hut they took Mist Dance into and I was headin for it when I heard a ruckus. Sounded like someone woke up in one of the huts and was fighting one of our men. I ran for Mist Dance's hut before everyone started waking up and this raid turned into a nightmare. When I got inside the feller was awake but was stumblin around pretty drunk. I was about to knife him when I started thinkin about all the dreams I'd been having and I figgered I didn't want to add this drunk dude to the list, so I knocked him out. I grabbed Mist Dance and we started runnin for the beach. Well, I should have taken the dreams because all of a sudden the drunk was rushing us. I knifed him and he went down but it was no use, on his way down he drove his knife into Mist Dance's back.

I sat with her for two days as she fought to live. She lost. The dreams went away. I left.

Excerpt from The Godz of Earth by S.E.Estes

Chains

Off to work...

In Dreams

I close my eyes, then I drift away
Into the magic night, I softly say
A silent prayer, like dreamers do
Then I fall asleep to dream my dreams of you

In dreams I walk with you, in dreams I talk to you
In dreams you’re mine, all of the time
We’re together in dreams, in dreams

In Dreams Roy Orbison

Scattered

My mind is too restless to accomplish anything. I try this and that but I'm quickly dissatissfied and let them drop to search for other things to do.

Blue Moon

Blue Moon
You saw me standing alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own

Dead Man's Chest

A mini story by S.E.Estes

He thought back on that day long ago, the day he sealed his fate. He was a pirate then and a pirate he would always be. Young and unwise he made a bargain with the devil, "I'll do your work forever if I can stay what I am now." and to seal it he cast gold taken from the man he killed on his still-warm body. The blood and the pirate's soul were satisfactory payment and the pirate became the devil's servant. He didn't mind the job, he did what he always did, killed and took the spoils. The devil got what he wanted and the pirate did, too.

"Ship sighted, Captain." He checked the read-out and gave a heading. The crew liked working for him, he always knew what he was doing, never made a mistake and they got rich because of it. As most of their battles went, it was over quickly and then came the one part of their job they all hated. It was the captain's standing order to kill every living thing on every ship they boarded. There was no slaving allowed, or prizes of temporary companionship, no ransoms and no mercy, young or old, everyone died. One time a crewmember protested as they were about to kill a child, the captain raised his hand and everyone got quiet. "You don't like it?" he asked quietly. The protestor swallowed a little and said, "No. It's a waste, this kid could bring a lot of ransom.", he saw the agreement in the eyes of other crewmembers so he went on, a little braver, "We've wasted a lot of money killing everyone off. What's the use in it?" The captain's voice never changed from it's cold, quiet, "I don't make you rich enough?" The speaker looked around a little for support but it was waning, they saw the look in the captain's eyes, he was foolish enough to continue. With a little laugh he shouted, "I'm never rich enough!", there were a few laughs, the captain laughed a little himself then asked, "You want out?" He should have quit, but the pirate wasn't really protesting about the money, he was sick of all the killing, his dreams were filled with the deaths of innocents and he wanted it to end. "Yeah," he said, "I do." "You're welcome to it." the captain told him as he ran the pirate through.

The crew weren't the only ones unhappy with all the killing and the dead pirate wasn't unique in his burden of guilt. The captain hadn't slept for days, he only did when he had to, the dreams of the dying were too much, the whispers of the dead were more than he could endure. He cursed the fate he'd chosen for himself and wished himself dead. But he couldn't die, it was part of his hellish bargain, and he had centuries of dead pulling at him for retribution. Gladly he would have satisfied their demand, more than once he tried but the pain of his wounds was not atonement enough. He knew the only way he could even begin to atone was to end his pact with the devil but that he didn't know how to do. One night the dark one gave him a way out.

He couldn't fight off sleep any longer and the dreams began as usual but from among the dead a presence arose, one he knew from ages ago. "You're not happy with our contract." the dark one said. "How could I be with the weight of the dead on my chest?" the damned pirate asked. "You have done well, you can sit by my side any time you wish." His hopes were rising when he asked, "I can live without killing?", but they were dashed when the devil answered, "It's not that easy. The bargain was you had to kill to remain as you are, that hasn't ended but I can amend the terms for service well done. You're a thief and a murderer and you always will be but, now, to stay out of my domain you must rob but one soul of their life for every year you wish to live." "What kind of bargain is that?" the ancient pirate asked but the dark one didn't respond, "It's still killing!" he shouted into silence.

He saw it in the devil's eyes before he thought of it, life and redemption offered by the keeper of the damned. Suspicion filled his voice when he asked, "What's the catch?" The devil smiled a not-too-unfriendly smile, "No catch. You've done a good job and I know you still will." The pirate smiled back, "Aye, I will."

He set the auto-navigator for base and toured his ship, when he stopped counting the dead he'd bought himself 147 years. The ageless pirate would buy himself many more, those like him would die until he could finally sleep in peace.

Life Goes On

Pretty good mood, she stayed for breakfast and I got some writing done on a new short story. Late last night I was restless so I started looking through art for a picture to write about and found a great one. It seems like the more writing projects I have going at once the happier we both are.

Bondage

Daylight approaches and our night goes into captivity. When I awake I'll be free for a short time then I go to another bondage.

Ice Art

Freedom

I had been followed for the third day in a row. I drank long into the night in a local tavern. I staggered out and headed for the docks. I was still being followed. When I got to my ship, he took up a post in the shadows. I staggered inside. When the hatch closed I dropped my drunken pretence and moved to the back of the ship. I drew my blade and slipped out the rear hatch. I circled around until I came up behind my follower... he was still watching the front hatch. I pressed my blade to his throat and hissed out, "Don't make a sound... don't make a move... Are you alone?" He nodded, I took his blaster. "Into the ship." I palmed the hatch open and pushed him inside. "Your training shows." His words were brave but his eyes spoke fear. "So they're looking for me..." He smiled slightly, "Bradac does not take the loss of his property easily." Bradac... would I never be free?

I slit his throat and put him in the disposal unit. I then sold my ship and purchased a new one. I didn't know where I was going, but I left. I came to a backwater planet far off the trade routes. There was little to do there except drink. I spent a lot of my time in the ship... thinking.. painting. I don't know how, but only about a month had passed before I was found again. I had to find a way to put an end to this.

I let them take me. They brought 5 men and they took me at the docks. Two of them didn't make it. As far as they knew, I didn't want to be taken.

I fought for Elzion Bradac and moved up in the ranks. I waited for my time. We'd just come back from a reconnaissance mission and I was being debriefed in Bradac's tent. "The area is heavily patrolled. The only way in that we could see is over the mountains." "I don't need your recommendations," he snapped. "The mountains would take too long, anyway. We will make a frontal attack." "We'll be massacred." He sneered, "Are you a coward as well as a deserter?" I stared into his eyes. "You insult me. I issue the challenge." Bradac laughed. "You challenge me? You who were too afraid to stay and fight for me?" In answer, I drew my blade. I feinted left and rushed him head-on. He was quick... it seemed he could fight. We fought for what seemed like hours. Both of us were wounded heavily and tiring, but neither of us could take the advantage. I began thinking to myself, "Sold to Elzion Bradac..." over and over again. It echoed in my mind... it echoed in my muscles. All my focus was on Elzion Bradac and I wanted him dead even more than I had wanted Vardoc dead. No one would ever own me again. I rushed in with renewed strength. My blade sang in the air. He began to fall back. I pushed in and beat his blade out of his hands. I thrust down and rammed my blade through his heart. It would beat no longer... I was on my way to freedom.

I was brought before a group of soft-looking men. One spoke as the others watched me. "You are now called Elzion Bradac. You own 113 men, estimated resale value is 20 million credits. You have 18 million credits in reserve. Buy-out is 50 million credits." one reported. "What do you mean by buy-out?" "You can buy your way out of our organization. You need another 12 million to do it." he answered. I still didn't undersstand, "How do I earn 12 million credits?" "Bonuses for achieving objectives and any spoils you gather." I nodded, one of the men signalled and I was led to quarters. I couldn't sleep that night. 12 million credits... I knew it could be done, Bradac had done it and I planned on being better than him. But how long would it take? I ached for freedom.

They would not let me keep Bradac's head. While I waited for orders I fashioned an earring out of silver. I made it in the likeness of Bradac's head right before he died. I spent long hours getting the fear in his eyes. I put the ring in the hole in my ear that Vardoc made. It would remind me of the two I killed for freedom. I would be no man's slave again.

My first orders were to take the town where I had done the recon. It was heavily guarded except where the town backed up to the mountains. The mountains looked impassible, but I thought it could be done. Climbing those mountains brought back memories of the climb up the mine shaft. I could almost see the shaft walls... the men trying for freedom. We took the town with no casualties. I took no spoil. My bonus was 50 thousand credits. 239 missions to go.

Mission 217. We were on Sergath... The odds against us were immense. My men were losing ground.. losing heart. I moved up to the front, I would fight alongside my men. We broke through at dusk and turned in on them. Their nerve broke and they began to run away. We worked long into the night hunting them down and finishing them off. I finally called my men back to camp. They began cheering, "Bradac! Bradac! Bradac!" I was not going to be named after a slaver but I had no name for myself. We were given the owner's name and a number and usually the men were called by their number. One day we were in need of a recon within the enemy's perimeter. The leaders wanted details of how the camp was laid out, gun placements, sentries, command centers. One of the leaders said, "Get the painter, maybe we'll get some accurate maps." From that point on they referred to me as the painter. I motioned them to silence. "I will not be called Elzion Bradac. I will be the Paintr." With one voice they roared, "Paintr!" I had my own name.

The time came when I had my 50 million. I could go at any time. Or could I? I thought of my men. When I left they would be sold off again. How could I be free and my men remain slaves? 20 million. 400 missions. I was sick of the fighting, but I could not face myself if I left my men this way. I stayed... a home would have to wait.

I stood before my men and told them of my plan to free them. They stood silently, confusion in their eyes. I understood... freedom is a strange concept at first. They would understand in time.

The time came when I had the credits for buy-out. I went before the council and stated my intention to leave. They looked at me and one spoke, "You have 50 million credits in your account. You are 20 million over. How would you like this given to you? Credits, gold, illium? "I am taking my men with me." They looked at each other, "This has never been done before." "You said they are worth 20 million credits. I am paying you for them." Several nodded and another spoke, "Done." "I thank you. One more thing, I ask that you let us go on one more mission. We have no money." "Done." "Without the suits... and we keep our weapons." Surprise showed on their faces. They looked around at each other. Some whispered to others. Finally one spoke, "Done."

They had their sense of humor... It was a lousy mission... a swamp world after a 2 month flight. There was no dry land.. the trees hung with constantly dripping moss that blocked our visibility. The beings that lived there were fierce fighters and there were a lot of them. At times we had to fight off 3 or more at a once. Our mission was a search and destroy for a given sector. We would leave when none of those swamp beings were left. I don't know where they were coming from, we fought for 3 weeks with little rest. It was good that our wounds healed quickly or we'd have lost early in the first week. On the trip back I spoke of what was to come. "I will receive 50 thousand credits for this mission. That gives each of us 500 credits. Enough for transport to a nearby world. You can keep your weapons. Sell them or use them. There is always need for a good sword hand." They cheered. I raised my hand and they grew silent. I shouted, "Freedom!"

"Freedom!"

Excerpt from Paintr's Journal by S.E.Estes

Wonderful

She was wonderful tonight, I'm at peace with the world.

Avenger

A hand hand shook him into darkness, "We've got to go." he heard and he struggled to his feet. he didn't know where he was going but his dreams followed him in the dark. Darkness covered her bed but he didn't need the sound of her sleeping breath to know where she was, he betrayal reeked from the putrefaction of her spirit. She lied to him and used him, trained him from a child to hate and sent him to the edge of death to satify her lust for revenge. He would do her revenge, he would destroy the family that killed her father and then he would come back for her.

He was an austere man, not given to pleasure, his one satisfaction in life was his craft. Kenji Nishimura was a sword maker, a crafter of some of the finest in the universe. He didn't make them for the wealth it brought him, it was his art, the expression of his spirit. The war had taken too much time from his real work and now that he'd grown old his regret had grown, too. He had but one wish, to live long enough to finish his final sword. He'd worked long over it but each blow to the steel beat strength into him. He sat over it, polishing it, bringing the beauty of it's inner spirit to the surface. He worked on it through the night so it would be finished with the rising sun, a good, strong omen to herald its birth. He had but the final sharpening left when he heard a shout from his son's room. He set the unfinished blade down and picked up his sword, when he got to the room he was horrified to see his only son dead. He searched the house for the killer only to find all his family dead, all but a younger son away from home. He sat alone in his study for weeks, desolate, he only waited word from his general that the killer had been found before joining his family. One day he gave up the search and prepared himself to die, he had one last thing to do. He picked up the sword yet to be born and felt the knife plunge into his back.

He slipped through the darkness to her side, pressing the point of a knife to her throat Raan Tora hissed, "Wake, deceiver. Wake and be released." Her sleepy eyes filled with terror when she first saw him then relief came when she realized who it was. She was about to reprimand him for frightening her when the briefly forgotten blade drew a drop of blood. "Not a sound, woman." he whispered, "You will only speak one word before you die. What is my father's name?" Understanding came to her eyes, she knew he had found the truth. She breathed a long slow breath in preparation, whispered "Paintr." and died.

The monk looked up from his studies, annoyed at the intrusion. "What is it?" he asked in a tone to say it better be important. "News of your family." He was about to dismiss the neophyte but something in her tone made him decide to listen, "Quickly." She told him of the death of his family at the hand of an assassin, it seemed hardly worth his notice until its full implication set in, as heir to the family name he would have to quit the monastery and take up the family business. It angered him, the monastery was his sanctuary, his place of fulfillment and someone had ripped it away. He knew nothing of swords or sword making and had no desire to learn. His studies had been for deeper meaning, secrets of the universe, now he would be trapped in the mundane world of weaponry. He knew it was his duty but something more personal had been added for his coming quest for revenge, Takashi Nishimura would take pleasure in sending his jailer to the next life.

He knew nothing about swordmaking, as a younger son he wasn't expected to learn. It was knowledge passed on from father to heir and Takashi wasn't the heir. He was clumsy at first but steel was in his blood and swords were part of who he was. Many was the time he watched his father work his craft, or teach his brother a lesson in his art, now that he needed them the lessons had become his. His first completed sword was good but it wasn't a Nishimura sword. He'd done everything he saw his father do, everything explained to his brother but he was missing something, a vital element that would make a living sword, a work of art. Whenever he was at a loss for answers he went to the monastery, his fellow monks were wise and practical, able to see into the heart of a matter. When they saw the sword there were understanding nods but none spoke, the monks didn't speak easily, not until certainty prompted them. They followed him back to the Nishimura house to watch him make a sword, they were there for over a year. Their watchful eyes made him slow, thoughtful and careful, he looked at what he was doing as one of them. The finished sword wasn't good but none of the monks had to tell him what was missing, it was him. What he hadn't understood was that his father had put himself into each sword, that is why they lived, breathed beauty and deadly art.

Takashi knew before he could make a sword he would have to finish the search he'd begun in the monastery. To begin he set up a room with a mat, a piece of raw steel, his father's finest sword and a bonsai tree. He would meditate on those things until he found the enlightment he'd been seeking when he was pulled away. He'd lost himself in that tearing, the monastery had been his security from a child. He'd been sent there as soon as he would old enough to be accepted and beyond the memories of his brother's lessons the monastery was all he knew. He was still a young monk, though, and had so much to learn, it could be years before he made his first good sword. He had set the course of his new life, he would search for the assassin that tore him away from his old life and would continue his search for enlightment to begin his new one.

Excerpt from Shadow Stalkers by S.E.Estes