Work

I hate my job but I hate not working worse and finding one is a nightmare. I'm lazy but work is a great distraction, something to fill the long hours of endless, random thought. Doing the job is not enough, if it's boring the thoughts continue while I'm working but most work is boring. To keep from being bored I strive for perfection to stay interested enough to get through the day, then I'm labeled a kiss-ass company man and people get resentful or use me. If I make things around me fun people like working with me and the resentment goes away, then people want me to be a boss. If I become a boss they keep piling on petty shit until I crack. I keep telling myself I won't become a boss but I get so sick of all the bullshit I try anyway. Next time I say no I won't stop.