Eyes

There are only two ways I can talk to people, one on one or an audience. I prefer an audience most of the time, it's less intense, less uncomfortable. When I speak to an audience I don't have to look at anyone unless I want to, there are ways of giving the appearance of making eye contact from a distance without really doing it. One to one is another easy way to avoid eye contact, things can be done to make it seem like you're not avoiding their eyes for awhile but the effort is difficult and eventually it happens, the trick is to get away before it does.

When I was very young, I was extremely restless and got into trouble all the time, it was my dad's job to lecture me. As I stared into his eyes I would feel myself getting smaller and smaller until I could drown in their fathomless blue. Even though I knew there would be nothing of me left I couldn't look away, part of me wanted to go. I always could say something to get him mad enough to spank me, it was the better alternative.