Maddening

This portion of the book has driven me crazy, the beginning started out well but the end was a huge struggle. The chapter is about struggle so I guess my muse wants me to have a fresh sense of the feeling. I like to blame things for my problems but my huge distraction with the game was really a way to hide from the frustration of the days-long searches for the story. No matter what I do my mind never ceases its search, I can only pace the house so long before I have to do something to keep from fidgiting myself crazy. I couldn't even express myself here, I was empty of words. That's a pale place to be and so I went to the only other thing I know to hide, tweaking. I was a computer geek for twenty years and, though I know nothing about games and very little about JavaScript, I do understand how a computer thinks. A computer program is a jigsaw puzzle and programming it is just a matter of getting the right pieces in the right places. It's more a matter of patience than anything, looking for that spot where the little cloud-looking piece should fit, looks like a perfect fit, damn.. not quite, look again... a day later and you're still looking. Doesn't take a whole lot of thought for the most part once the design work is done, design is like painting the picture and cutting it up into component pieces. It was a good excuse for a while but I can only play with puzzles so long and I didn't want to be a programmer all my life, I wanted to be a writer.