Debate

I go see my doctor today and I'm trying to decide whether or not I'm going to tell him about passing out. I have this feeling if I do he's going to either up my meds or do some other thing I'm not going to be happy with. It's been a month since I've seen him and I still haven't found out if I'm going to get free or affordable meds. Yesterday I seriously considered not going today but I have to talk to my caseworker about those meds. My caseworker is one of those social workers with his phd that always stresses "doctor" when he refers to himself. I figure he wanted to be a psych but couldn't cut it. Acually, the worst part of going to the doctor is the drive, I hate driving, hate being in cars, but it's 30 minutes to my clinic. It's pretty much an irrational fear, an offshoot of psychotic episodes where I believed I could see the future and the future held death in a car for me. The debate rages. Will I or won't I go? Will I or won't I tell? I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose this one.