Virus
This came to me in email:
If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.
*** WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***
And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.
Send this warning to everyone!!! THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD! Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! And look at you - you're on the computer!!!!
Posted by RevrendZ - 5/28/2005 08:52:00 AM
Home | Menu | Heading
2 Comments:
LOL!
Ah, yes, the computer phobias...the terror over what disasters would befall us if we had some sort of Y2K style meltdown. It is true, we depend on this cyber tech so much now that we'd probably be as helpless as babbling babies without them.
My b/f's mom, who's quite a devout Catholic, sent us thisl little religious tract that warned of impending Armageddon (well, what else?) and said that one of the signs would be the creation of "smart cards"which would replace cash and all other forms of transaction completely, just for starters. The penultimate step before worldwide collapse would be the insertion of implants like the ones you get stapled into your pets so you can run them through a scanner just like in the supermarket if they get lost or stolen.
The implant, according to Gospel, would fulfill the prophecy of the mark of the beast being in everyone's right(?) hand.
I pooh pooh'd it, sort of, until Henry clued me in that this kind of thing was actually taking place. Some people were getting implanted for health maintenance reasons (like a permanent medic alert thing) or also I think for security reasons (certain companies that needed that extra bit of paranoia-quelling tech).
So, in closing, I wonder how many people were afraid to open that scary/crazy e-mail--and how many read far enough down to get that it was a joke before deleting it (um, it WAS just a joke, right?)
Ahhh... Revelation... I'd heard about the medical implants... the implant in the hand could be chalked up to coincidence but when people start getting them in their foreheads... well, I'll be in the repentance line.
Post a Comment