In Hell

Zach died so many times it became matter-of-fact for him. It's wasn't so much death that bothered him as the places he ended up.

"I heard a noise behind me and when I turned around I saw a feller standin outside the bars. He wasn't old, wasn't young, hard to tell just how old he was. I greeted him, 'Howdy, Pard.' He had an oily smile, 'Hello, Zachariah.' I had an idea who he was but I asked anyway. His eyes were shifty, 'Who do you think I am?' I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction, I shrugged. 'No matter,' he began, 'I've been watching you. It looks to me like you've been done an injustice. Do you really think you deserve to suffer forever for things you didn't do?' I knew this feller was pretty tricky so I was wary, 'I killed a few people myself. I broke the law. Seems like I got no choice but to pay for what I done.' He looked very sympathetic now, 'The way I see it, you had little choice but to kill those people. And as for breaking the law, don't you think you've paid enough?' I couldn't argue with that, 'So why don't you let me go?' Now he looked real sad, 'I can't do that.' Figgered. He smiled again, 'But, I can do something to get you out of there.' I had to jump, 'What?' He grabbed one of the bars, didn't seem to bother him none, 'If you do a job for me you don't have to come back until the next time you die.' I guess he knew what was on my mind, 'You don't have to kill anyone.' I couldn't help it, I wanted out, 'What's the job?'"

"Her name was Willa Simms, people called her an angel. You wouldn't believe it to look at her, she was kinda homely, but when you got to her eyes you started to get the idea and when you heard her voice you knew. She was a godly woman and people flocked into her tent revivals to hear her bring forth God's word. They were pretty tame as far as tent revivals go. Sure, there was the usual singin and testifyin, even some layin on of hands, but there was no hell-fire-and-damnation preachin, it was all about the love of God. Comin out of Willa Simms' mouth the love of God never sounded so good, it was no wonder at the end of every meetin hundreds came down to get saved. That's where I came in."

"You see, ole Satan was losin business because of Willa Simms and he wanted me to put a stop to it. When he told me about it he also started to tell me how to get it done, I put a stop to that, 'Look, Pard, I'm kinda used to doin things my own way. Don't worry about it none, I've got a good idea of how to get it done.' Satan nodded and I woke up in a coffin. When I sat up the undertaker passed out and I left that town behind."

I sat back in my chair and drank for a while wondering why I was telling this story... I didn't want to, but I was going to anyway. Finally, I'd drunk enough to go on.

"To this day I remember her voice, I think of it like I think of a beautiful song. Willa Simms had me captivated. 'God is love!' she would sing out and if I didn't know better I'd believe it myself. I went to her revival meetins for weeks until I knew everything I could know about them and her from an outsider's viewpoint. I knew a thing or two about revival meetins so I actually saw more than the regular rubes would. Thing was I could tell right off that it was an honest meetin, sure, it was rigged a bit, the plants in the audience, the carefully chosen music, but they never played up the collection and I could tell the take wasn't big. I could also tell that Emma Simms was a devout believer who wanted to win souls to her lord. She was going to be a tough nut to crack."

"I got me some preachin clothes and went to her God Is Love revival. All she ever talked about was the love of God but that's all she ever needed to talk about, there were a whole lot of people lookin to be loved by anybody. Well, you could see right away that Sister Willa, she liked bein called Sister Willa, loved you so probably God did, too, seein how Sister Willa said he did. When she called for people to come forward to be saved by God and Sister Willa's love they came down in droves. Well, the night I went in my preachin clothes I was the first up when it came to testimony time, 'I would like to testify, Sister Willa.' She smiled at me, 'Come forward, Reverend.'"

"'Sister Willa,' I began my testimony and then turned to the crowd, 'brothers and sisters, I've been to heaven and I've been to hell!' They gasped, even Sister Willa, I had them. 'I was a rough man, lived a rough life... I've even killed a man!' Another gasp. 'If you live by the sword you die by the sword! The course of my nefarious life led me to a violent death.' And now there was complete silence.'"

"Now that they were mine I began to croon, 'I stood at the Judgment Seat of Christ where I looked upon the holy face of Our Lord and Savior. I couldn't stand it so I covered my face, it was like staring into the sun. My whole unholy life played out before me and I felt ashamed. I kind of mumbled to myself, "I guess its hell for me." The Son of God spoke like I was someone very dear to him, "Perhaps there is another way, Zachariah." My heart soared with hope and He went on, "If I allowed you to live would you speak of me to those like you?" "I could do nothing else, Lord, but there is one thing." I knew he knew what I was going to say, I didn't want to brothers and sisters but I had to be honest with Him and myself, "I think I better get a taste of Hell. I know the people you want me to talk to, they'd go for nothin less."'"

"I paused and looked around the room as I let my words sink in, then I shouted, 'Agony! Agony unimaginable! Agony of body and mind! Agony unceasing!'" Then I let my voice grow real quiet, 'That is Hell my friends. I burned in the torments of Hell for one day and it seemed longer than,' and then I let out a mighty shout, 'my entire miserable life!'"

"When the stir of my words quieted down I wrapped up my testimony. 'It's good to be alive folks! Can I get an Amen?' and everyone roared, 'Amen!' All eyes were on me as I left the stage, some people reached out and timidly touched my clothes. I knew Sister Willa was watching me all the way back to her seat. There were tears in her eyes as Sister Willa continued with her meetin, 'That, my dears, is what The Love of God is all about. To pluck a broken sinner from the fires so he may bring His Gentle Love to the rough and unloved.' When the meetin ended, Sister Willa had this broken sinner brought back to her dressing room."

"Before Sister Willa could say a word I took off my hat with one hand, grabbed her hand with the other and said in my best gee-whiz voice, 'Imagine me shakin the hand of Sister Willa Simms! You're all they talk about in Winston, that's in Texas. Matter of fact, that's why I'm here.' Sister Willa slipped her hand out of mine and smiled encouragement, 'Go on, Reverend.' 'Well you see Sister Willa,' I say, 'I'm a circuit preacher, kind of a travelin missionary. One of the towns I stop in to do some preachin and baptizin and marryin is Winston. Winston used to be a real rough town but the new marshal cleaned it up and it's become quite a respectable place. They even have a church. Thing is they got no preacher, ceptin me and I don't get around there but maybe once every two-three months. They got a ladies' society there and those dear women are powerful anxious to get the town it's own preacher.' I stopped for a second and waited for Sister Willa to speak. She looked a little confused, 'What does this have to do with me, Reverend?' I gave her a hopeful smile, 'Seems the ladies' society came up with an idea to get them a preacher. They figgered if you was to come out to Winston and have one of your revivals, of course they'd pay for everything, not only would they be savin souls, they just might attract a preacher. You got to admit, when Sister Willa comes to town things start to happen.' Her eyes danced with thought and she said, 'Let me talk to my people but I, personally, am thrilled by the idea of bringing my work to the Wild West.'"

"As I hoped, Sister Willa had grand plans for her Western Revival Tour. They were going to stop in over a dozen towns on the train ride out, set up their tents and commence to revivalin. Things were goin well for Sister Willa and her tour until we got to Peyton, a hell-hole of a town on the Texas border."

"The revival started bad and just got worse. A pretty young thing got up on the stage to sing and one feller yelled out, 'Take it off!' The audience, made up mainly of drunken cowboys with nothin else to do, started yellin and catcallin like they was at a strip show. The girl broke down and ran off the stage followed by more hoots and laughs. When a dude got up to sing they started throwing things at him and he had to leave before he could finish his song. When Sister Willa came to the stage her face clearly showed the strain of her worries and how badly the revival was goin. She was a brave one, though, so she put on a smile and shouted, 'God loves you and I love you!' Well, this was just the encouragement the cowboys needed. One ole boy hollered, 'I love you, too! How's about comin back to my room so I can show you how much?' and Sister Willa was bombarded by laughter and lewd comments. She tried as hard as she could to go on but the cowboys didn't let off and finally she broke down in tears and left the stage. The revival was over before it could ever get started."

"When I went to Sister Willa's room she was looking downright miserable. I put my hand on her shoulder and comforted her, 'Don't let this get you down, Sister. Cowboys are a rough lot, you gotta expect things like that.' She looked up at me, 'I'm sure you're right, Zebediah, but I feel so bad for Sister Irene and Brother Luke. They don't deserve treatment like that.' I agreed and encouraged her, 'Buck up, Sister, things can only get better.'"

"They didn't. In the next town after Sister Irene had to run off the stage before she finished her song she told Sister Willa, 'I'm not singing another note in this God-forsaken land.' She took the next train back east. Brother Luke got hit in the head with a rock and it took ten stitches. In the town after that Brother Luke got shot in the foot when a bunch of fellers tried to make him dance. But the worst part of it all was how they treated Sister Willa. She was always greeted with catcalls when she took the stage and when she spoke of The Love of God they laughed and made lewd suggestions of just how she could demonstrate His love."

"Finally, we came to Seldom. Brother Luke was too afraid to go on so sister Willa took the stage alone. She stood frozen in her tracks for a moment while the filthiness surrounded her. Her lips moved, I could tell she was prayin. Finally, she gathered her courage and shouted, 'God loves you and I love you!' She cringed as the nastiness hit her then some feller, blazin drunk, stumbled up onto the stage. 'I love you, too!' he belched out then pulled down his pants and tried to hike up Sister Willa's dress. She screamed, 'Get away from me foul demon!' and slapped him in the face. Then she just stood there looking at her hand with this horrified look on her face. I don't know how long she stood like that, it seemed like forever, then she ran off the stage."

"I went lookin for Sister Willa after that and found her in her room sobbin. I sat down and put my arm around her, 'Nobody oughta be treated like that, Sister Willa. It ain't your fault that your revival has been attractin drunks and no-goods with nothin better to do with their time. Maybe you oughta just put off the revivals until you get to Winston and the ladies' society. Things are a little more civilized there.' She looked up at me, it was hard to look into those eyes, they were filled with misery and defeat. Worst part of it was, I caused it. 'There will be no more revivals.' she said and I said, 'Good, Sister, things will be much better in Winston.' but I knew that wasn't what she meant. Her voice was final, 'There will no more revivals ever, Zebediah. If I can't stand up to this little bit of adversity, I wasn't meant to do this work. I'm going home.'"

"That night I lay awake wonderin why I ever made that deal with the devil and when I fell asleep I was back in hell. I wasn't in a cell this time, I was standin in front of Satan who was sitting on this huge throne. He was kinda huge himself this time, so was his voice when he said, 'Contract fulfilled.' I woke up in bed.".

Excerpt from The Godz of Earth by S.E.Estes